I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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