I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
