He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
