A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
