Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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