So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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