I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
