i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just high enough for therapy.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
