no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
