I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
