oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I need a burrito and a hug.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
