Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
