is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
the night ended with taco bell and tears
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
