I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
