You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
