smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
