He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
