READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
