last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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