apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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