If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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