weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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