names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
