he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
