so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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