just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
found the other keg... it's in the tree
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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