We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
