The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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