I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
