She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
