Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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