I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
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