Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
