Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
