i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just want to make out with him forever
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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