girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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