she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
