my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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