I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
