it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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