I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
