i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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