Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
More tranny stories later!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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