Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
