Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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