he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
