JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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