Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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