imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
