After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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