I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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