there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
