whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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