i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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