The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
