i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
