Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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