It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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