Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
