how can u be prego again
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
