She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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