it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
