Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
