i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
