you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
